Google owns the internet and is immortal

Google has all the answers for the afterlife - so stop searching.

Google gives perks in the afterlife

Tech Giant Google knows how to look after it's employees while they are alive with gourmet food and free haircuts but it has also promised to look after them when they die. As well as giving $1000 a month to dependent children, Google has promised to:

Delete your search history if it contains any embarrassing references to porn or Justin Bieber,
Search for your missing body using google maps technology,
Filter unwanted messages from annoying relatives reaching your spouse,
Upload a cat-based eulogy direct to Youtube.

Not be outdone by Google looking after you when you die, Apple has announced it will give $50 to each employee everytime it freezes.

How to earn a nine-figure income

Here are six tips to becoming a billionaire.

1. Move to another country

Making the Billionaires rich most recently are those in Russia, Turkey and India.

2. Become a childrens' entertainer.

No, not Bozo, an alcoholic, middle-aged man doing kid's parties. Get out some colourful skivvies and a few catchy tunes like the Wiggles. Try to be a one-man show though, so you don't have to split your income down to 8-figures.

3. Go into IT

Microsoft, Google, Dollars. Get it? If you are doing a PhD or thinking about a Masters in medicine, stop right now. You are smart enough to know that IT is the future, Web 3.0. Microsoft, Google. Start putting you efforts into monetizing and monopolising.

4. Monetizing and Monopolising

see number 3

5. Start Prospecting

Oil and Gold. These will always be lucrative and will only go up as the economy worsens.

6. Email marketing

There are millions of people with access to the web and email. You potentially can reach them all, and get a few-hundred dollars from each. Some will even send you money and/or their bank account details if you say your are from Nigeria and tap into their greed.