iiNet delivers its best financial result ever

The internet provider is in a strong position with an 11 per cent rise in full year profit.
2012 has also seen an 11 per cent increase in Irish men with beards.

With it's saturation marketing iiNet has positioned Australia as a nation which welcomes and even celebrates bearded Celtic nationals. Sightings around Bondi, Kings Cross and the CBD have risen dramatically.

In days past, these bearded Irishmen would have typically written poetry and drunk heavily. Now they market ADSL and steal your girlfriend. Our soft borders mean they'll get straight in without any processing in PNG or Nauru.

Google gives perks in the afterlife

Tech Giant Google knows how to look after it's employees while they are alive with gourmet food and free haircuts but it has also promised to look after them when they die. As well as giving $1000 a month to dependent children, Google has promised to:

Delete your search history if it contains any embarrassing references to porn or Justin Bieber,
Search for your missing body using google maps technology,
Filter unwanted messages from annoying relatives reaching your spouse,
Upload a cat-based eulogy direct to Youtube.

Not be outdone by Google looking after you when you die, Apple has announced it will give $50 to each employee everytime it freezes.

Construction Sector Shrinks Again

The shrinking construction industry shrunk again for the fourth straight month in September. The construction activity sub-index was down to 36.9 in the month, reflecting negative growth. Here we have the latest pictures.

Westpac Rate Rise

Dubai Debt Restructure

Dubai World plans to restructure about $US26 billion of debt out of the estimated $US59 billion it owes, reassuring investors and helping global markets edge higher.

A spokesmen for Dubai World stated that "Initial discussions have commenced with the banks of Dubai World and are proceeding on a constructive basis. When it comes to construction I mean trust us we made that hotel that looks like a giant yacht and that one like the map of the world. Construction, Reconstruction, Deconstruction...sorry forget that last one trust us, the big hotels remember, yep the new one like a giant palm tree. Construction."

The Bad News and The Good News

The Bad News: A survey has found that almost a third of businesses are expecting to cut staff during the next three months.

The Good News: None of these staff-cuts are expected to come from survey companies.

Financial Crisis Puns – Just Scratching the Surfers

BILLABONG is facing its first profit downturn since listing in 2000, with a rapidly weakening US retail market forcing the world's biggest listed surfwear company to again downgrade guidance and undertake a $290 million capital raising to reduce debt.

Financial journalists have also had a difficult time inventing surf-based puns for their headlines. Here at FinanceFinancial we’ve collected a few of the best and then added some of our own.

Billabong profits dumped by global wave

US waves dump on Billabong

Dump Stocks?:Dump or be dumped

Billabong hit by a freak wave

Surprised by wave of debt

Wave goodbye to golden era

Profits go down the tube

Endless Summer, Now Winter of Discontent

Billabong barrel-rolled

2010 before Billabong gets back on board

Big Swell begins Hard Sell

Swelling debt

Profits Wipe-out

Billabong shares hit ocean floor

Board Caught Short

End of Perfect Break

Billabong faces downturn, Surfin’ USA

Surf Co. Guidance Goofy-Footed

Billabong Shares: ‘Drop-in’ price

Stocks for Surf, Bum

Billabong’s Future, In God’s Hands

Capital in pipeline, to deal with debt

Billabong’s Black Friday, looking for Big Wednesday

Billabong, Break Point?